Tag: Poly Advice
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Polya Relationship Expectations: Nothing for Granted
Updated version of a previously published article on Postmodern Woman. Up front and honest. Heard and understood. Let’s both (all) be right. No either-or thinking. Surface vs. Substance. No expectations. Humanity (individuality) first. No defaults. In all things, my values came (and still come) first. I didn’t grow up with stability or honesty or respect.…
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Poly Advice for the Mentally Ill: “You Control Your Emotions”
Standard Poly Advice: “You Control Your Emotions” (or sometimes “You can’t control your emotions, but you can always control your actions.) Bullshit. You don’t have to be mentally ill to lost control of yourself–either your emotions or your actions. You can be high on pain meds, you can so stressed or exhausted you aren’t thinking…
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Poly Advice for the Mentally Ill: “Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations”
I’ve written a fair bit about boundaries in the past. There is a fair bit of theoretical discussion in polyamory about the benefits of using boundaries or agreements in relationships. Theory aside, no matter which you use for relationships, we all have personal boundaries. For instance, many people have a boundary about respect in relationships.…
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Mental Illness and Polyamory Recap
This blog series is already one of the longest I’ve written, and I’m about to add a bunch more information. So before we dive back in I decided it would be good to do a quick recap of the key points of the series so far. Educate Yourself If one of your poly partners suffers…
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Poly Advice for the Mentally Ill: “Communicate, Communicate, Communicate”
Standard Poly advice: Communicate, Communicate, Communicate Nothing is more important to a healthy relationship than communication. If we aren’t keeping our SOs in the loop about how we feel and what is going on with us, then small problems will become big problems until someone comes home from work to find their stuff sitting on…
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Poly Advice for the Mentally Ill: “Be With Your Emotions”
Sorry for the late post today. I thought I had a draft saved for the next poly fiction list, but apparently not. Depression messing with my head, I guess. So, today I’m finally going to take a look at some of the standard poly advice and how it applies (or more often doesn’t) to those…