Tag: Planning Ahead

  • Polya Relationship Expectations: Nothing for Granted

    Updated version of a previously published article on Postmodern Woman. Up front and honest. Heard and understood. Let’s both (all) be right. No either-or thinking. Surface vs. Substance. No expectations. Humanity (individuality) first. No defaults. In all things, my values came (and still come) first. I didn’t grow up with stability or honesty or respect.…

  • Polyamory and Pregnancy: Legal Stuff

    Removed gendered references to the other (ie not pregnant) bio parent. Corrected some info. A few other minor changes. Revised Jan 15, 2017. Probably the biggest potential hassle in being polyamorous and pregnant is the birth certificate. (Yup, legal messes are always the worst kind.) In this case, it’s the issue of legal paternity. First…

  • Polyamory and Pregnancy: Planning for the Expected

    I’ve done what I can with this post without taking it down and re-writing it entirely. When I wrote it I was really ignorant of the many forms polyam can take and was kind of focused on a hierarchy/group relationship dichotomy. I was also stuck in the normative cis-hetero mindset. Unfortunately, I don’t have the…

  • Polyamory and Pregnancy: Planning for the Unexpected

    Revised 11/6/16. Minor updates here, fixed some typos and that kind of thing. I ran across a discussion on a polyamory forum once where a woman said she absolutely could not deal with the possibility of her husband getting someone else pregnant. A bunch of people were trying to reassure her of how unlikely it…

  • Polyamory Meal Planning

    Revised and re-posted 10/11/16. My polycule has changed several times over the past few years, and the details of my meal lists have changed as people moved in and out of my life. But I still keep these three lists. Main changes here are fixing grammar and typos. In a few weeks, my metamour will…