Category: Polyamory
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When Polyamory Triggers Abuse
I have said before—and I stand by it—that polyamory is not abusive. Unfortunately, starting a polyamorous relationship, or opening up an existing relationship, can be a trigger for abuse. And if you’ve read about the roots of abuse, you know why. One of the causes of abuse is insecurity. Some people are insecure in their…
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When Your Partner Is in an Abusive Relationship
As Liz shared in her guest post, watching a partner in an abusive relationship is horrid. It can create feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, do severe damage to your relationship, and, depending on how entwined you and your partner are, have a significant impact on your daily life. Many people, when they see someone they…
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Raising Children in A Polyamorous Family Wrap Up
With some reluctance, I’m wrapping up the PoP blog series on raising children in polyamorous families. I hope I’ve been able to answer some questions and give some reassurances. I think I’ve covered everything I intended to cover. If you have any questions or concerns I missed, please contact me. I’m always happy to add…
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Meeting Other Polyamorous Families
For children in minority families, nothing can be so powerful as meeting others like them. As an adoptee, I remember the first time I met other kids who were adopted. For the first time, there were other people who understood, really understood, what it was like. The questions and uncertainties of having other parents out…
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Abuse Isn’t the Only Wrong Way to do Polyamory
Recently someone commented that by saying something wasn’t abusive, I made it sound like that behavior was automatically healthy and/or okay. I did not in anyway intend to give the impression that anything that isn’t abusive is healthy, and I am sorry that I wasn’t clearer. Let’s be blunt: abuse gets a lot of focus…
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When Our Kids Face Discrimination for Our Relationships
In an ideal world, no one would hurt our kids because of our choices. As we’ve noted before, the world is far from ideal. If we are open about our relationships (and sometimes even if we aren’t) people’s ignorant reactions to polyamory can cause problems for our children. We need to be ready to help…
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Abuse and Mental Illness
Abuse or Mental Illness? In discussing mental illness, and specifically PTSD and other trauma-related disorders, I mentioned that some symptoms of mental illness can mimic abuse. I say mimic because while these symptoms may look the same as abuse, they are not about trying to control. Here’s a classic example: My partner has several mental…
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Book Review: Stories from the Polycule, edited by Dr. Eli Sheff
I once again owe Eli Sheff an apology. For whatever reason, I am not able to get reviews of her books up in a timely manner. Granted, “timely” is not something I am good at the best of times. With that out of the way, let me actually talk about Stories from the Polycule. Stories…
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Polyamory and Child Custody (Guest Post by Gracie X)
Six years ago when my husband and new boyfriend all decided to cohabitate under the same roof– I felt pretty smug. I had created a situation where I got to have my husband of 20 years and a new lover as well. We converted our single-family home into a duplex. My husband and his new…