Category: Polyamory
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Moving in Together: Personal Space
This may be a personal quirk, but I firmly believe everyone needs some personal space, a spot in their home that is “theirs.” Much like Virginia Woolf’s “A Room of One’s Own,” but it may actually be a chair, a spot on the porch, a corner of the attic, or any place else that works. Unsurprisingly, introverts…
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Polyfolk Moving In Together: Should you get a new home?
As I said in my last regular post, I’m going to be writing a series on polyfolk moving in together. To start us off, let’s take a look at where your polycule is going to live. Generally one of two things happen when a polycule takes the step of moving in together. Either everyone moves…
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Polyamory Hurts Kids? Not in the Real World
Any parent who chooses to enter a polyamorous relationship will sooner or later run into the charge that polyamory hurts kids, and they are being selfish by putting their desires over their kids’ well-being. I recently ran across a blog post claiming to be based on psychological research that used big fancy words to say…
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From “Yours and Mine” to “Yours and Yours and Mine”
I haven’t talked about it much, but I have a new boyfriend, who for privacy reasons I’ll call Hunter. Hunter and I have known each other for a while, but our romantic and relationship is new. In spite of the newness, we have clicked really well, and Hunter spent most of the last few weeks…
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What’s Your GOTH Plan?
Sometimes I think most polyfolk are certifiable optimists. Let’s face it, the dating game is an emotional masochists wet dream, but we keep going back, even when we already have healthy and happy relationships. As some friends of mine would say, “That’s just wacked.” Now, combine that insane optimism with a good dose of NRE,…
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Who Took the Cookie from the Cookie Jar?
Well over five years ago now, my then-triad and I were living together in New Jersey, and our home was a disaster. My partners were largely products of a “Women will do the cleaning” upbringing while I was raised with the assumption that “by the time you graduate college and get a place of your…
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Open Relationships Need House Boundaries, Not House Rules
In my last post, I touched on why I prefer boundaries to rules, and the way boundaries apply to a lot more than just relationship stuff. Today I’d like to look at poly homes, house rules, and the clusterfuck that can be moving in together. My first triad lived together in a large duplex. We…
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Beyond Relationship Boundaries
Polk folk tend to talk lot about relationship agreements, rules, and boundaries. Of the three I join Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickett in preferring boundaries. Unlike agreements and rules, boundaries are an internal matter. You decide what you are and are not willing to accept, and disassociate yourself from anyone who does not respect those…
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Polyamory Living Options
(If you found this post looking for bedroom/sleeping arrangements, click here.) When we talk about living arrangements with poly partners, we usually focus on two options: living together or living apart. There are very few truly binary choices in life. You almost always find a third (or fourth, or fifth, or….) option if you look.…
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Furnishing a Poly Home: Dishes (and things that come in sets)
Thanks to Walmart this isn’t as much of a problem as when I first entered a poly relationship, but I want to take a minute to talk about dishes, utensils, and other stuff that you can (traditionally) only buy in sets. Until Walmart started selling dishes one-off, and the various dollar stores followed suit (or maybe…