Category: Polyamory
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Abuse, Franklin Veaux, and the Polyamory Communities
At this point I have almost entirely separated myself from the polyam communities. Partly, that’s been the result of my needing to get the hell off of Facebook for my own wellbeing. But another part, that I have never talked about publicly, is that I was gaslit by one polyam leader in front of a…
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Protecting Against STD/STIs: Abstinence/Closed Relationships
Edited for typos, grammar oopsies and stigmatizing language. April 12, 2018. As should be obvious by now, I am not in any way advocating for any specific relationship style — neither abstinence nor closed relationships would be a comfortable fit for me. There is certainly nothing wrong with open relationships or lots and lots of…
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Preventing STIs: Be a Smart Slut – Open Relationships, Promiscuity and STIs
I’m always happy when I only need to make minimal updates to a post. It means I did it right the first time around. Only real change is that the at-home HIV tests are now “available” instead of “coming soon”. Let’s get a big cheer for that! Updated and reposted April 12, 2018 The past…
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Preventing STIs: Testing Agreements
This is one of the few posts so far to need significant updates. I removed a lot of stuff that reinforced stigma against STIs. Facts are the same, presentation is different. Updated March 29, 2018. Just going to skim this one, cause I’ll be delving into STI testing in some depth later. But since regular…
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Protecting Against STIs: Barrier Method
Updates today include: updated information based on new research/resources, adding information about dental dams, and changing terms for condoms to the inclusive “external” and “internal” condoms. updated March 7, 2018. Person stuff: I want to say thanks again to everyone who donated to help me fund my visit with my kids and to those…
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STIs Protection (Introduction)
Minimal changes here. Mostly just changed STD/STI to STI. The biggest change is the last sentence of the post, which wasn’t there in any form in the original. I intend to spend a bit more time directly addressing STI stigma this time around, starting with a new post inserted into the series next week. The…
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Polyamory and Finance: Risk or Safety?
Building on previous posts, today we’re talk about the first of your financial priorities: risk or safety. Risk or Safety At first glance, you might ask why anyone would prioritize risk. The short version is that in money stuff, risk is usually tied to opportunity. As a general rule, the more you have, the more…
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What are STIs?
Expanded the “what are STIs” bit to make it clearer that there are infections which aren’t considered STIs that you can still get from sex, because language is weird that way. Other than that mostly cleaned up typos and grammar. Updated October 20, 2017 If I’m going to spend the next couple months discussing STIs,…
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STIs
Biggest change here is removing references to “safer sex” where ever possible. As I discussed Sunday, I’ve recently come to the realization that by equating “protecting against STIs” with “safer sex” we’re missing a big part of the safer sex discussion. So I am no long referring to discussing STIs as discussing safer sex, etc…
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Polyamory and Money Stuff: Entwinement or Autonomy
A few weeks ago, I spent some time riffing on polyamory and finance and I ended with the idea that both polyamory and money stuff require us to set priorities, and which priorities we set affects the decisions we make. For polyamory, I mentioned three choices we make: to prioritize our need or desire for…