Category: Personal
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Protecting Against STIs: Barrier Method
Updates today include: updated information based on new research/resources, adding information about dental dams, and changing terms for condoms to the inclusive “external” and “internal” condoms. updated March 7, 2018. Person stuff: I want to say thanks again to everyone who donated to help me fund my visit with my kids and to those…
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What Do You Owe Yourself?
This post is going to be a lot more personal and a lot less practical than most here, but I hope folks will find it meaningful. There is a strong push towards individualism in the polyam community today. And long time readers may have noticed that this push doesn’t always sit well with me. I…
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Safer Sex for the Non-Monogamous, Blog Hiatus, and Personal Stuff
I keep saying I’m going to start posting snippets from Safer Sex on my Patreon page. Time to finally get my shit together and do it. For the next several weeks I’ll be sharing sections from Safer Sex for the Non-Monogamous 3 times a week. These will be Patron only posts and the snippets won’t…
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The Polya Bystander: I Just Want to Be Left Alone
Updated version of the article first appearing on Postmodern Woman. If there’s one thing that helps keep polya people from experiencing discrimination like other minorities, it’s that there’s often some sense of privacy. For many people, they can practice their non-monogamy in relative peace. They can simply spend less time with any possible family that…
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Marginalized Polya People
Updated version of an article first published on Postmodern Woman. What does polyamory look like when you’re poor or disabled? How do you maintain autonomy and independence when you require specific care or assistance? How do you have safe, kinky, enjoyable sex when you’re allergic to latex or have a condition that leaves your body racked…
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More Personal Stuff (and some resources)
As with last Thursday’s post, I’m mostly re-posting this one for the resources. CARAS and NCSF aren’t often able to assist polyam folk directly, but they have some good stuff for educating doctors, psychs, and other professionals you may be dealing with. Looking Through Us is sill up, it’s been on hiatus in recent months…
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Yay Life Insanity! (And Canadian Court Cases)
Most of this “not posting this week” posts I’ll end up deleting rather than editing and updating, because, well, a post saying “I won’t be posting today” 5+ years ago isn’t exactly relevant now, ya know? But this one also contains my immediate reaction to the big court case in Canada that challenged Canada’s anti-polygamy…
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Polya Relationship Expectations: Nothing for Granted
Updated version of a previously published article on Postmodern Woman. Up front and honest. Heard and understood. Let’s both (all) be right. No either-or thinking. Surface vs. Substance. No expectations. Humanity (individuality) first. No defaults. In all things, my values came (and still come) first. I didn’t grow up with stability or honesty or respect.…
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A Personal Digression: Custody Case
I’ve fixed a few typos here and changed one instance of “polies” to “polyam folk.” Otherwise this is exactly as I posted it in the fall of 2011, including signed with a name I no longer use. My ex’s lawyer did in fact print this post out and ask me, while on the witness stand,…
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Welcome Michon Neal to Polyamory on Purpose!
Hey Folks, for the first time Polaymory on Purpose is going to be a team venture. Please join me in welcoming Michon Neal to PoP. For the next three months Michon Neal, of PostModern Woman and The Body Is Not an Apology, will be helping me with the blog. (Michon also writes some awesome fic…