Polyamory on Purpose Archive

Category: Communication

  • Poly Advice for the Mentally Ill: “Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations”

    I’ve written a fair bit about boundaries in the past. There is a fair bit of theoretical discussion in polyamory about the benefits of using boundaries or agreements in relationships. Theory aside, no matter which you use for relationships, we all have personal boundaries. For instance, many people have a boundary about respect in relationships.…

  • Polyamory Etiquette: Bumping Into Your Metamour

    I missed a few posts in April, so look for these bonus posts throughout May as I get caught up. If you and your various poly partners and their various poly parters live in the same area, sooner or later you’re going to bump into each other at a local fair, browsing the grocery store,…

  • Polyamory Etiquette: Running into a Poly Partner in Public

    Life was even crazier than usual last month, and in the craziness I completely forgot that I’d been going to get in depth on how to handle unexpected encounters with poly partners, metamours, friends and family. With that in mind, this today we’ll be looking at how to handle it when you run into one…

  • Introducing Your Polyamory Partners and Metamours

    Introductions are fairly universal. You bring person A over to Person B and you say “Person B, I’d like to introduce Person A” or some variation on that theme. In a social situation, it can be good to add something about the person. “Person A is a big Star Trek fan.” Try to make this…

  • The First Rule of Polyamory Etiquette: Don’t Be Afraid to Ask

    Next week we’ll start on tips and guidelines for dealing with specific situations. For now, I want to address an important point that is more important than anything else I will say about etiquette. When it comes to social situations involving your poly partners, or their poly partners, don’t be afraid to ask. “How would…

  • Fluid Bonding and Safe Sex

    Fluid bonding is a common term in polyamory safe sex discussions. Fluid bonding commonly means having sex without a condom or other barrier method. The idea being that your fluids are mingling and joining together. In hierarchical poly relationships, fluid bonding it usually reserved for the primary couple or group. In egalitarian or solo poly…

  • When Polyamory Triggers Abuse

    I have said before—and I stand by it—that polyamory is not abusive. Unfortunately, starting a polyamorous relationship, or opening up an existing relationship, can be a trigger for abuse. And if you’ve read about the roots of abuse, you know why. One of the causes of abuse is insecurity. Some people are insecure in their…

  • When Our Kids Face Discrimination for Our Relationships

    In an ideal world, no one would hurt our kids because of our choices. As we’ve noted before, the world is far from ideal. If we are open about our relationships (and sometimes even if we aren’t) people’s ignorant reactions to polyamory can cause problems for our children. We need to be ready to help…

  • “There’s no right way to do polyamory!” (But there’re lots of wrong ways)

    I mentioned last week that often good ideas or positive statements can become tools for abusers. Within polyamory, “There’s no right way to do poly” has become one of these tools. In theory, the idea that there is no right way to do poly is meant to be an affirmation. You don’t need to fit…

  • Talking with Your Child’s Teacher (or other professional) about Polyamory

    Going to Your Kid’s Professionals Sometimes you are going to need to approach your children’s teachers, doctors, and other adult figures in your kid’s life about polyamory. For instance: If your children have more than 2 parental figures who will be coming to parent-teacher conferences If you want one of your poly partner’s to be…