Category: Old Stuff
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Abuse, Franklin Veaux, and the Polyamory Communities
At this point I have almost entirely separated myself from the polyam communities. Partly, that’s been the result of my needing to get the hell off of Facebook for my own wellbeing. But another part, that I have never talked about publicly, is that I was gaslit by one polyam leader in front of a…
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Polyamory and Money Stuff: Entwinement or Autonomy
A few weeks ago, I spent some time riffing on polyamory and finance and I ended with the idea that both polyamory and money stuff require us to set priorities, and which priorities we set affects the decisions we make. For polyamory, I mentioned three choices we make: to prioritize our need or desire for…
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Coming Out Polyamorous Blog Series
When I first wrote the Explaining Polyamory blog series I didn’t write an intro post but instead dove right into The Culture Gap. I’m fixing my oversight by adding an intro post 😉 So, that said, obviously this is the intro to a blog series on coming out as polyamorous. Specifically, coming out as polyamorous…
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The Power of Cash
I mentioned last week that for some people, entwining finances is less a matter of choice than of necessity. That necessity comes at a cost—the cost of autonomy and the risk someone having power over you. The Power of Cash A few days ago, I saw someone comment that they were solo poly because they’d…
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Polya Relationship Expectations: Nothing for Granted
Updated version of a previously published article on Postmodern Woman. Up front and honest. Heard and understood. Let’s both (all) be right. No either-or thinking. Surface vs. Substance. No expectations. Humanity (individuality) first. No defaults. In all things, my values came (and still come) first. I didn’t grow up with stability or honesty or respect.…
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Partner Preferences
Minor edits here. I think my space bar was broken when I wrote this because SO MANY extra spaces. Sadly, Matt Bullen stopped writing his blog (or possibly moved it without a forwarding address) a few years ago, but you can still find him on Facebook and Twitter if you look. Revised 2/10/2017. Giving a…
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Moving In Together
The original version of this post really reflected some of my old assumptions about the “norm” in polyamory. Hopefully I’ve managed to clean all of that up. Polyamory is complicated and everyone does it differently. Revised 1/11/2017 A couple posts back I mentioned that if someone in a polyam relationship gets pregnant, people who had…
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Welcome Michon Neal to Polyamory on Purpose!
Hey Folks, for the first time Polaymory on Purpose is going to be a team venture. Please join me in welcoming Michon Neal to PoP. For the next three months Michon Neal, of PostModern Woman and The Body Is Not an Apology, will be helping me with the blog. (Michon also writes some awesome fic…
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Polyamory Sleeping Arrangements
Some fairly major changes here. Revised to include separate sections for solo, couple, and group living, and get away from the previous focus on group living. Actually, most of this is excepted from an early draft of The Polyamorous Home. Updated 11/25/16 On the surface, this is more for the polycules who live together. However,…
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Polyamory Fics with Hispanic Characters
Double the Risk by Samantha Cato. Two cops–partners–fall for the new medical examiner. Nice bonus ATM–series is about a family of cops trying to expose corruption in the Boston PD. (CN for the rest of the series–the 3rd book has some heavy transphobia.) The Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Robert Heinlein. Polyamory classic. After…