Biggest change here is removing references to “safer sex” where ever possible. As I discussed Sunday, I’ve recently come to the realization that by equating “protecting against STIs” with “safer sex” we’re missing a big part of the safer sex discussion. So I am no long referring to discussing STIs as discussing safer sex, etc etc. Probably when I’m done with the Finances blog series I’ll start writing about the wider aspects of the safer sex discussion that are usually forgotten or ignored. YOu may notice that I’ve also stopped doing “STD/STI”. When I started this blog series “STI” was a relatively new and unknown term and I felt I needed to use both to be everyone understood. These days STI is well known and the most used term in the polyam communities I am part of. So I can stop using STD and just go with STI, which is the term I prefer. I’ll note here that the medical community is not in agreement about which term to use and both terms are perfectly acceptable. Updated oct 20, 2018.
If you’ve been involved in polyamory for any length of time, participated on any forums, read any blogs or books, eventually you will have come across topic of STIs. It is a medical fact that by having more than one sexual partner, you increase your risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection. If by some chance you haven’t already run across a good discussion of the hows and whys of discussing STIs, I suggest you take a brief detour to More Than Two’s Negotiating Safe Sex. It’s on the short side, but hits the basics of discussing STIs very well. You might also find some other good info there on dealing with jealousy and other relationship-related polyam stuff (as opposed to practical-type stuff I try to focus on here).
Still, even most polyam folk who know and follow standard s and staying healthy. Just as a for instance, I had a first meeting with a potential partner once, who when we discussed safer sex said he had no objection to getting regular STI testing if I could pay for it – since it cost over $100 a person. What he didn’t know, and I turned up in a 5 minute web search, is that the local health department offers STI testing for $10 a person.
I’ve also run across a frightful amount of misinformation over the years on polyam forums about STIs, how they are prevented, how common they are, and, oh, lots of stuff.
So, next week I’m beginning a new series on STIs. I’ll be covering what STIs are, finding places to get tested in your area, and brief introduction to the various STIs, how they are treated, and just how much of a concern they are. Along with some other semi-random stuff.
In the meantime, if you want to do some research of your own, the American Sexual Health Association is a decent place to start.
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