Time to Talk about Linking

As some of you know, I’ve teamed up with Michon Neal of PostModern Woman to start an online conference—Accessible Multi-linking and Polyamory. As part of putting this conference together, we coined new terminology for referring to having intimate connections with multiple people.

Multi-linking—(n)
from multi (many) + linking (connecting, relating)
the personal quality or practice of co-creating or wanting to co-create intimate connections with multiple people. Connections may be romantic, aromantic, sexual, asexual, platonic, kinky, or take other forms of intimacy. Connections can last a few hours or a lifetime. The nature of connections are determined only by the individuals who are connected.
“I prefer multi-linking to monogamy. I like to have lots of different relationships and intimacies.”

Multi-link—(v) to intimately connect with multiple people. Connections may be romantic, aromantic, sexual, asexual, platonic, kinky, or take other forms of intimacy. Connections can last a few hours or a lifetime. The number and nature of connections are determined only by the individuals who are connected.
“I multi-link. Right now I’m partners with Dan, nesting with Gloria and sub to Jesse. There are also several people I don’t have defined links with, but who are part of my chosen family.”

Link—(n) an intimate connection with another person. Connections may be romantic, aromantic, sexual, asexual, platonic, kinky, or take other forms of intimacy. Connections can last a few hours or a lifetime. The number and nature of connections are determined only by the individuals who are connected.
“I prefer having one stable long term link and lots of fun and exciting short term links. My friend Jen wants to find several people to link with for long term.”

Mutli-linking—(adj) of or relating to multi-linking (n).
“Our multi-linking Facebook group is usually pretty active.”

I’ve avoided using multi-linking and link on this blog partly because A) this is still a polyamory blog and B) introducing new terminology always causes confusion and I didn’t want to do that when I didn’t have the spoons to keep up with the blog.

But I’m finding myself increasingly frustrated with the assumptions built into using “relationship” and “partner”. So I’m making the break. This blog will start using “link” for an intimate connection with another person and “connection” for the person you are connected with.

I am linked with Michael. Michael is my connection. Our link has lasted nearly 8 years. (Wow, it’s really been that long already…) I am also linked with Candi and Michon. Polyamory is my preferred form of multi-linking.

For the next few weeks I’ll be linking (the internet version 😉 ) back to this page when I use ‘link’ or ‘connection’ in a post. Hopefully this will smooth the transition and reduce the confusion.

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